Why has Jane Foster written this book?

I wrote this book with the sole purpose of helping parents of transgender kids — and honestly, any parent who’s ever found themselves struggling with the mental and emotional challenges that come with raising children. And let’s face it, there are many of us.

When my now trans daughter came out, I was in total denial. I was an emotional wreck, completely blindsided.

How could my adult child — at 21 years old — be trans, and I had absolutely no idea? I felt like the ground had been ripped out from under me. I searched everywhere for help, for something to guide me through what felt like the hardest breakdown of my life… but I found nothing.

There were no books that spoke to parents like me. Only books for those who had already reached a place of support and acceptance — parents who were standing by their child through their transition. But what about those of us who couldn’t accept it fast enough? Who were still frozen in disbelief, wrestling with guilt, confusion, and heartbreak?

Pro-trans or anti-trans? I’m neither. I’m just a woman — a mother — who no longer wanted to live the life she thought she knew, because that life had just been turned upside down. I couldn’t believe that the son I’d raised was now my daughter.

I’ve written this book as honestly, as raw, and as unfiltered as humanly possible. It’s messy. It’s emotional. It’s uncomfortable. It’s not for the faint-hearted or anyone sensitive to swearing, because let me warn you now — there’s a lot of it.

This is my point of view. A loving mother trying to cope with losing the idea of her “perfect” son, trying to understand the daughter she never knew she had, while also managing the daily reality of raising another child with autism. A mother grappling with change, fear, confusion, and the aching need to hold her family together.

A mother simply trying to survive — for love.